Thursday, August 27, 2009

Still on the road...

We are still "on the road"...three weeks to the day, and almost a week left to go. This trip is long. Too long. Why didn't it seem like it would be this long from the other end of it? We were ready for an adventure, an experience to bring us closer as a family, a last chance to connect before Dan starts fall quarter...Except that we forgot that, oh yeah, when you're visiting people, you get a chance to connect with them, not with your own family...Sigh. So, we are having a good time seeing our families, and some friends who are still or again here in south central Wisconsin, and that is certainly a good thing. We are missing each other though, missing our rhythm and our peaceful and our nesting and our spaces...

"Away" is good for perspective though, and I feel like I'm gaining some of that for our homeschooling life. I always get prickly-excited in the fall; it always feels like new beginnings, a new year, new energy and life. We ended all of the classes and coop time in May feeling overwhelmed and spent, too stretched and busy and out of balance. Then there was Oliver!, which took over our rhythms and energy in a different sort of way. I want more space for us this fall, more time, more fun, less "have to" and more spontanaety. I think this means more energy on my part, more creativity and willingness to run with the choices we're making, more offerings and ideas and listening. I am looking for the things that will help nurture that capacity for "yes" in myself - exercise, beauty, an even keel.

I have been feeling off about continuing with our coop this fall. I feel like I have been putting a lot of energy into helping it run in a way I feel good about and maybe that is just more energy than I am willing to expend outside my family. I have been assuming that it was an essential part of our routine, that my eldest needed that kind of stimulation and community, so I have been agonizing about it, about finding a way to make it easier for my youngest, who has told me point blank that she does not want to go - and then I bothered to ask Eliza what she thought about coop, whether she would consider us not being a part of it, and guess what? Her answer was "it's too many kids, mom." Shock. We are going to sit with this idea for a bit before committing to not committing, but I am beginning to feel some more space in our lives, some opening that feels inviting...

There is a game of euchre waiting for me in the living room, so I'll end these ramblings for now, but I'd love to know what you are hoping for your life in this coming season?

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