Sunday, June 6, 2010

Being

Often in the evenings Eliza, so busy throughout the day, is hungry for "mama time".  I am often exhausted by this point, and have also been asleep for 20 minutes or so with helping Ani to sleep, so I'm not always the best mama for the job.  This past week, knowing that I have been focusing more of my energy towards conversations and projects with Jessica, I have been consciously trying to save some of myself for that last-hour-of-the-day need of hers.  While rubbing her feet the other night, she came out with the following monologue...

Oh Mama. I can just feel how much you love me.  There is so much that you do for us.  You care for us, cook for us, wash our clothes, wash our sheets, fold them and put them all away, you wash the dishes, you do the shopping, you clean the house, and then you are so loving to me, rubbing my feet, caring for me...I want to do more for you. I want to help with all the things you do. I love you...do you know why? I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you! I mean without you and dad I wouldn't even BE here, and can you believe that I am here? I mean, here I am! I am a person! I was born from you and now I'm here and gosh, I am a whole person! I just can't believe it!

Do you remember having those kinds of thoughts as a child? I do.  They were expansive and overwhelming and profound.  The idea of Being.  It was amazing to watch those thoughts wash over her face and she was so inspired she sat back up and was gesticulating and beaming and so full of life and love.  

This morning when I awoke I discovered that Ani had snuck out of bed, in cahoots with Eliza, and when I got downstairs (ahem.  an hour and a half later), they were dressed, Eliza had braided Ani's hair, and they had set a beautiful table for breakfast.  They proceeded to make scrambled eggs and toast and generally be lovely for the whole morning. (Which, I have to add, was a very welcome change from the day we had yesterday.  Balance.)  Eliza shared more thoughts with me...

 It feels really really good to do something for other people.  I really like the way it feels to do these things for you! I want to do this more of the time...

Growing.  Reflecting.  Being.


4 comments:

Gwynneth Beasley said...

WOW! My eldest needs more time from me in the evenings and its exactly when I am over giving him my time. I think I may use this post as inspiration to give a little more. I would be delighted if he came up with such thoughts and actions as your daughter. Well done for giving more!

Mari said...

I love those "aha!" moments with my own two children. What a treasure, and a joy it must be to realize that you have two compassionate, deep thinking little girls (but I'm sure you already knew that!)

P.S. what lovely photographic portraits as well!

Merry said...

I can't get over the first picture of Eliza! She is so gorgeous!! It's fun to see her grow up.

debbiedas said...

What a beautiful girl you are Eliza. You've got me all choked up here. :)

I do remember those moments - how I came to be. And yes, they were so BIG they were almost incomprehensible. What an amazing job you are doing with your girls. So much inspiration.