Monday, June 7, 2010

The inevitable goodbye

Hiking at Stroud's Run
We knew it would be hard to say goodbye to Jessica, but there is no real way to prepare yourself for actually going through it, is there? As we neared the airport terminal I came up with the brilliant idea to (what?!) stop at McDonald's for some gut-bomb fries to put off the inevitable for another 10 minutes,  at the same time as she reached into her bag to "just check to make sure it's really today I'm supposed to leave". It was hard!  Ani wailed as we drove away, "it is unfair that she has to leave, I just can't believe she is going! It is not ok!" despite the hour and a half long drive towards that moment.  I was thinking on our drive home that it is also totally unfair to feel so so sad and still have to think about what to make for dinner or mediate the scuffle going on in the backseat with any amount of finesse.  Sigh. 
If you are a parent, I hope that you have experienced the companionship and support of someone you deeply love, in your daily life.  We have lived far away from family for all but the first year of Eliza's life and have missed the close proximity of extended family support (it has always been there long distance!!). 
Drawing, curbside
Watching my girls grow comfortable with Jessica and her with them has been a rare gift.  We quickly  absorbed her into our daily living... 
Having companionship during this part of the school year (for Dan - it is the end of his last quarter of coursework in his PhD program), not having to be a single parent, showed me that I do actually have the capacity to parent fairly well during this stressful time, with that support.  I may be speaking a bit prematurely (there are, um...4 days left in the quarter), but I haven't had a meltdown this spring!!  A needed boost to my morale...
Post-run stretch
And then there is the food thing. Food is a definite love language for me, and this girl speaks it well.  Samosas, saag paneer, pad thai, ravioli, cilantro pesto, incredible sandwich concoctions.  I am giddy from a month of food talk, food dreaming, food prep and food eating!!  She was here for at least six trips to the Farmer's Market, four potlucks and three picnics with the yoga mamas...shoo, that's a lot of food.
Thank you for spending this time with us, dear cousin and friend; our sadness today is tempered a bit by the thought of seeing you again, to share a meal, some snuggles, and a hearty laugh...you are welcome in our chaos and craziness anytime...
(this is the only picture of the two of us that we got during our month together. pretty pathetic, huh? It's in the car as we packed up to go to the airport today...ah, well, better than nothing!)

4 comments:

Kerry said...

It has been a rare gift for Jessica too, to be included in your family and to share in your day-to-day life. Thank you!

Merry said...

Oh Honey, I can only begin to imagine how hard this "goodbye" was for all of you.Especially after having such a long visit!But there will be more - she's only going to be in New York, not Niger!You'll have to teach me some of the yummy dishes the two of you made while I'm out there.Love you!

Stacy (Mama-Om) said...

I wish Jessica were my cousin -- no, wait, I wish YOU were my cousin!!! :)

xo,
s

JessicaBliss said...

I just love you guys so much. The thought that one day we can live near each other gives me SUCH hope. Thank you for this generous post-- words are coming your way from my direction soon:)