Friday, June 3, 2011


Water balloons (anticipation, or dread?)
 It is the end of the week, and I am finding myself, after a trying day with the girls, wanting to list what is working in our lives, what stands out in our week that makes me feel GOOD.  I think I am at one of those cyclical shifts in parenting - I learn things soooo slowly, plodding through the same scenario hundreds of times before the "aha" hits me, so the rough spots start to look pretty darn familiar before we pass into a newer, more enlightened (ahem!) state of being together.  It was reassuring today to have a conversation with Dan about remembering some of the very basics of how I want to be with my family, and to realize that not only could he articulate what I was trying to say, he was and is on the same page. Whew.  It can feel so lonely to witness the large gap between what-is and what-will-be - Scott Noelle calls it The Healing Gap - but all I can do it start where I am (and have been over and over and...), and trust that the gap is narrowing, albeit slowly.
What is helping me be patient with life right now? The smell of honeysuckle that saturates the air. Kale salad, 20 minutes fresh from our garden, which all of us ate with gusto and praise for our ability to grow something. 
 A full morning in the garden with my family; hearing "I'm pretty hungry and tired" only after we'd been there for 2 and a half hours.  Bringing home garlic scapes for pesto.  After almost 9 years of sharing a room with four people, having a room to retreat to, full of sunshine and a clean, made bed  (it's the little things, right?).  A glass of wine with my husband and an episode of "Buffy" followed by an episode of "Angel" (that's's alll comin' out now). Skinny-dipping with my kids in a pond surrounded by a meadow on a perfect perfect almost-summer day.  Reading through Stacy's links on this post from Sweet Sky; so many great reminders, so eloquently written, so right where I need them to be.
And did I mention the honeysuckle? It counts at least twice on my makes-life-worthwhile list this week.


Debbie said...

I haven't been here in far too long - SO behind in my reader. But your words - wow - they were just what I needed. I too take quite a while to learn the bits I need to in order to be the parent I want to be. I see myself going over it again and again...and blaming my child sometimes because he isn't picking up on something as fast as I'd like. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. :)

We are going through a shift right now too. There are days that are SO great, a row - and then we have a bad one and I think, WTH am I doing? But listen here my friend, we are working at it - it's a journey, we are questioning the whys and hows of our parenting and choosing to be better parents. A dear friend once told me, the fact that we even talk about and question this sort of stuff speaks volumes of our parenting. I think you are marvelous. xo

Sounds like a lovely week. I hope your weekend is just as shiney. :) Much love xoxo

Monica said...

so much to love and enjoy.

i love that your family is out there in the garden helping for so long!

ah, and a room to oneself. oh yes.

my weekly joy pockets keep me sane some weeks. :)

must find out what 'the healing gap' is.