|Ani reading Garfield. The timer's for cookies.|
Our family is in the strange twilight zone of having half of the family involved in a play while the other half carries on more or less as normal. Except there is no normal when half of the family is otherwise occupied. So our days look a lot like Ani and myself figuring it out, while making sure people who need to sleep and eat get what they need. It's a little like they're visiting when they're home, as they're only really here to refuel before heading back to make music and story.
I am writing this to remind myself that Ani and I generally are totally in love with each other. And occasionally we have rough patches. But mostly there are many pauses for kisses and "Mama, I need to hug on you!" and the sketching out of plans together. Sunset walks and David Attenborough. Cookies and reading The Number Devil, domino mazes, card games, and sometimes just lying down on the bed, face to face, talking. I love that this is a need she expresses to me. I am grateful for the connection and the clarity she has about needing that connection.
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Today, while Eliza and Dan were at tech and dress rehearsals for Appalachian Christmas Carol, Ani and I went to learn how to throw pots on a wheel with Jason and Noah. I've done this once before, when I was pregnant with Eliza, but had forgotten so much. I had many aha! moments as my understanding of what the heck I was doing increased. More! I want more! The wheel as metaphor for life is so strong! Centering. Failing. Centering again.