Clementines & Candles

We rarely ever have people over for dinner, and when this rare occasion occurred last weekend, we went into a flurry of house-cleaning and decorating. It was sheer madness and only really stirred up all those feelings of inadequacy for having a well-lived-in house with lots of wear-and-tear, and the constant sense of not being quite moved in because, after all, we will only just be moving again in a couple of years...anyway. By the time we were done, there were fewer piles of stuff lingering sullenly in the corners, there was a bit more glitter in the garbage than on the floor (chairs, tables, socks...), and the house smelled clean and cozy.

I remembered seeing a post that Denise from Mom in Madison wrote sometime last year about beautiful candles that they made out of oranges, but I couldn't for the life of me find it in between making chili and cornbread, so I zoomed around the internet for a bit and finally came up with a mixture of approaches that worked in the 10 minutes I had to do something festive. Here is what I did:

I used clementines, because that's what we had. Oranges might work better, being bigger and giving more room around the candle's flame - these little lanterns had seen their limit by the end of the night. First I cut through the skin, around the circumference of the clementine. This peeled off easily (probably easier than an orange would have), leaving me with two peel halves. We promptly ate the middle. The top piece needed a hole, and we happened to have some small star cookie cutters, so I used one of those to make the top hole. Then Ani helped me push in a pattern of cloves to add some good smells to the project; we popped in a tea candle, replaced the top, and voila:

(I wish the photos were better. I cannot stand the way the flash washes out the colors, and so everything turns out blurry...For now, you at least get the idea!)

It's the little things, right? It made me feel good to make these bright little lovelies and they smelled just great.

Catching Up

I've been home a few days now, and it has all been about catching up, so it seems fitting to lump it all in at one go here, though I'm certain to miss a few things down those gaping cracks...There has been bundling, coaxing, dragging and finally dashing to enjoy the sunny albeit cold days we've been racking up here...There is Dan! Precious time with Dan. We have time to play games, remember how to share a kitchen, have conversations that are leisurely and not filled with urgency.

There was a haircut by an anxious and reluctant mama (those braids!), but the end results seem to satisfy (the mama) and delight (the girl). She looks too...old, to me. Ah, time.

There has been drawing, cutting, gluing, glittering, of course, sewing, modge-podging and craftiness willy-nilly around here. Finally a bit of festive decorating and some entertaining.

Reading (Mrs. Frisbee and the Rats of Nimh) and storytelling (Ani will pick up a clothespin and make it talk - imagine what she might do with a nativity scene?!) and cooking (Popovers. Frittatta. Smoothies. Penny Carrots. All Eliza.)..sigh. Busy and buzzing these days. Mostly happily. My family appears to have thrived in my absence, to my great relief, and I am slowly settling back into a house filled with chatter, cats, singing, squabbling, needs, gifts and lots of yelling, like this: MOM?????????????????????? Yes? IIIIII LOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEE YOUUU!!!!!!!

Love you too...

On a Beautiful December Morning...

Helvi, hours old

Sweet baby Helvi was born. Thank you for letting me be one of the tribe to welcome you into this world! What an honor. To witness the deepest strength of a human being, drawing from wells of endurance and power they didn't know they possessed - this is truly an honor. Beautiful baby girl, beautiful nursing mama, delerious papa...all is weller than well this day.

One more day, of settling in and cleaning and ogling and taking care, and I will be back with my family. Mama's comin'!!

I am totally smitten.

Still in Seattle...

Ah, what a vacation I am having. Do I feel guilty? You bet. I'm sleeping so hard I'm drooling, I read the Sunday paper today (and almost wish I hadn't), and I've had so many uninterrupted adult conversations that my brain is kind of tingly. I think of my family all through the day, disoriented by the time change that has me waking when they are deep into their day. There was a nice moment today however, when I'm pretty sure my love and I were cooking food for other people at pretty much the same time; Bulgarian tomato soup with dumplings for their supper tonight and for our neighbor's family tomorrow, and Tortilla casserole here, some for tonight and some for the freezer.
Aside from the food and some wandering about West Seattle while Bubbie took a yoga class, today was about tying a few loose ends (as you can see, figuring out the Moby wrap with Mama and Papa Bear was one of them) and relaxing. I have one more day here to soak her up and offer distraction - how lucky am I to have these precious last days of her time? It is not wasted, I assure you - I am enjoying every minute of it.

Today in Seattle

Bubbie, 40 weeks

Today was about food. Shu Shee Salmon, Yellow Curry. Shopping at the QFC. Rosemary Diamante bread with avocado. Cougar Mountain pumpkin cookies, and nanaimo bars at North Hill Bakery...I'm cooking a squash for soup to put in the freezer, and will start on some Mother Bars in a bit. Bubbie told me today that I remind her of being with her mother - as we pushed in our chairs at the Thai restaurant, we were already talking about supper and the grocery shopping we were about to do....from meal to meal.

There was a quick sprint (preggers style) around Volunteer Park, with a stunning peek at some pink Olympic mountains. There was gazing at the apartment window where my daughter was born; there is still a pinwheel in the windowbox that I'm certain dates from our time there, and the dogwood tree is thriving. There was the spotting of 3 neighbors within the first half hour of being on Capitol Hill - it all made me just ache to be there again, with my family. So nice for it all to feel that familiar and welcoming. I was worried this country girl would feel too overwhelmed by the hipness of this place, but there are plenty of regular folk for me to blend in with while admiring the hipness from a couple of booths away.

There was a two-mamas-in-an-SUV-rocking-out-to-Hedwig and the Angry Inch moment. There was loud singing and some good cervical craziness going on (her cervix, not mine) - maybe we need more rocking out? I'm there.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh-pen

I have prescribed rest and cuddles for the parents-to-be this evening, while I putter about and cook. What a gift of time I am enjoying here, time to reflect on my life a bit, time to reflect on my family - it is good to have some distance from which to miss the mess, the constant chatter, the lack of privacy, the all-encompassing that is having a family. And miss it I do.

waiting...

A few of you know that I am away from home, having travelled to be with a long-time friend of ours who is expecting her first baby any day now. I feel so privelleged to be here with her and her husband and her great big hiccuping belly. Before I left I had a few conversations about the trip with the girls. Ani wanted a reminder of why I was coming here to be with Bubbie, which is what we call her in our family, so I told her that we don't always get the chance to be with the people we love in the important moments in their lives, and when she asked that I come it was important that our family make that happen. I reminded her that Bubbie had seen her be born, that she was there for both of their births, and that it was our turn to be there for her. Eliza asked me if birthing a baby hurts, and I told her it does, but not like falling down and getting hurt kind of hurt...she wanted to know more, so I tried to explain it like this: Who is someone you have always wanted to meet? Obama. Ok, great, so you are on a journey to meet Obama, and he lives at the very top of a large mountain, and you're going to have to climb it to see him. Alone. There will be people along the way to give you water, to remind you to breathe, to say "You're doing it!!!", but your feet are going to really hurt, your lungs are going to work so hard it feels like they're going to burst, and you're going to be so tired that you can only think of putting one foot in front of the other...but...when you arrive at the top of the mountain, Obama will throw open the doors of his house and welcome you with open arms! He'll invite you in, where he's made you a giant plate of pancakes with whipped cream and sprinkles, and you're going to spend the whole day chatting, playing games, and enjoying each other. You forget how tired you are, how much work it was, and you're just really glad you are there.

I think she got the idea. We went from there to going through, in detail, both of the girls' births. How we love the retelling...

I awoke this morning, after a long day yesterday of travel and jet-lag, to see Mount Rainier rising to the south, and was treated to views of the Cascades and Olympics throughout the day. I spent the morning at Bubbie's kitchen table, talking pregnancy, birth, kids, until we both sighed and decided to get dressed and move forward with the day. To another conversation about 10 feet away in the baby's room, about preganancy, birth, kids...And that is kind of how the day went. Blissful. Relaxed. With plenty of hiccups.

What We Did On Our Thanksgiving Vacation, Part 2

Or "Friends and Mushrooms"

We were so lucky to spend our Thanksgiving with dear friends back in Virginia. It was a week of remembered connections, renewed friendships, rounding up the posse and playing, eating, cooking, eating some more, and talking, talking, talking...I sadly do not have good photos of everyone, but you know who you are and have the some of the same images swirling in your brains as we do...

We learned a new grace for our shared Thanksgiving meal; it was led by a five-year-old, line by line, and I will always hear it in her voice, rendering it more moving even than it is as written:

Empty Bowl Meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh
My bowl,
Empty now,
Will soon be filled
with precious food.
Beings all over the world
are struggling to live.
How fortunate we are
to have enough to eat.

I am thankful for friends to visit with, who care to dig deeper into life with us, listening and sharing and grappling and laughing, around a table, a fire, along a path. It was a wonderful way to celebrate this season of thanksgiving.